What can be better to explain what happened in 2016 than the songs I listened to most this year?
I started 2016 with a list full of resolutions, but the most important was: being happy.
I think that I’ve accomplished it, but some months were complicated. I was so happy until April.
On the other side of the oceans I found somebody to love, a job that I used to like, new friends and a place where I used to feel free for the first time in my life.
In March my life suddenly broke when my company told me that I had to leave New York. I had to leave my life there, and the people that made me happy.
When I came back to Spain I was lost. I met my family and good friends again but I didn’t find the place where I belong.
I spent one month trying to readjust but It was hard. I felt that everything I needed was far from me. I thought that my entire life was gone, gone, gone…
I tried to forget my last life and start a new one. I tried to let it go for a long time, tried to have a voluntary amnesia to forget everything that used to make me happy, but I couldn’t. My memories were always there, I didn’t need to see any photograph because all the experiences that I lived were always in my mind.
One day I decided that I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life crying. If I wanted to come back to New York I needed to do something. I knew that it was something worth fighting for.
I did my best to come back. I was afraid of nothing because I thought that I couldn’t lose anything more because I had nothing; that hope was the stitches that healed my broken heart a little bit.
Finally, I achieved it. I came back in September (four months after leaving) and I recovered my previous life, but I think that it was not actually my old life. I was a better me, a different version of me and I found a new life there.
The last few months my life have been a roller coaster. Sometimes I’ve felt that nobody could crash my party but sometimes I’ve felt that time was running out and I was wasting it. I experienced pretty things and sad things.
I feel that I’m in a fast car but I don’t know what the last stop is. At least this time I’m the driver…
These days I realized that in 2017 I want the same that I wanted last year: to be happy. But I won’t make same mistakes again.
In 2016 I said “It doesn’t matter” so many times when It actually really mattered. I won’t do the same.
Sometimes it’s hard to know what is good for you, but I know what is not good for me. I don’t want a skinny love. I want to have people in my life who don’t leave me, people who don’t let me down. If you are going to hurt me, please get out of my life before this year ends. I can live without you.
Often I’m weak but in 2017 I want to be stronger. I’ll believe in me because now I know that If I want something I can get it.
I know that I’m a mess and sometimes I’m hard to love but this year I want to feel love again. It might be an old love or a new one, though.
iPeriodista 